Road of Rumination
by LunarSkyes
Summary: Lovina Vargas has experienced everything except a happy a life. After a series of unfortunate events in her past, she receives a letter of encouragement from one of the few people who truly cared for her. Touched by his words, she attempts to salvage the remaining pieces of her shattered heart and rebuild herself into a new person. FemRomano. Pairings undecided. AU.
1. My letters to you

**Note: If you don't like my story then don't read.**

Otherwise, enjoy!

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_Mio caro nonno,_

_Come stai? I hope you're doing well in Heaven. Tomorrow is officially the start of high school for me. But unlike other freshmen students, I'll be starting my senior year. I hope that your proud of me, I worked my __f***ing a**__ …I mean I studied extremely hard just to get accepted to the Academy of Hetalia Axis Powers. Even though I'm only sixteen years old, I managed to skip two years of education because of my grades. It was unintentional at first, even I was surprised of the decision the headmaster made when I made a sarcastic comment about letting me skip first and second year since I was so much smarter than the rest of the idiots in the school. Oops…sorry I didn't mean to make that comment sound so mean. Argh, why did I decide to write in pen again dammit? F*** this s*** I'm too old to be crying again. Sometimes I wonder if I'm finally becoming crazy, I mean I'm writing a letter to you even though you're not here anymore…_

_I guess…I'm able to be more honest with myself if I write a letter to you instead of speaking. Hell…I'm living here in your apartment by myself. Why would I even want to sit by myself and start speaking like I'm talking to no one? Oh f*** this! I guess I am going crazy... I feel so alone...please try to understand nonno, I'm doing my best to keep myself from reverting back to who I was before. Writing a letter to you is now…the only thing that calms me down, the only thing that makes me content. Tomorrow is a new beginning, a chance to redeem myself. I can't fix the past nonno, but this time I'll make sure to do things right this time especially with mama…no…I don't have the right to call her that anymore…and Feliciana. Feli….my dearest twin sister, I cannot even imagine meeting you again. Not after that time…I pray that you're safe with…her. Nonno, I must end this letter before I-…I start crying again. BUT THIS TIME I MOST DEFINITELY WILL MAKE MY HIGH SCHOOL LIFE DIFFERENT. I GUARANTEE IT! I'm not the same little girl that you took care of. _

_Please pray for me in Heaven. _

_Tua nipote prezioso,_

_~Lovina_

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__Little does Lovina know is that she's going to have a bucket load of drama coming after her D:


	2. First Day, New Beginning

**A/N: **Do people tend to forget that Romano is a flirt? Well, in this story since Romano is genderbent, she'll be flirting with a lot of guys ;)

Don't worry, Lovina's past will be explained in upcoming chapters.

**Warning: AU, Slight OOC, OC (not that important though), Genderbent characters**

**Note: I do not own Hetalia );**

****Enjoy :D

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"_Academy of Hetalia Axis Powers is an international private school which specialises mostly in global economy. If you ever have any questions about a certain nation's geography, climate, politics, agriculture, the professors here will know everything. Of all the schools in the world, this academy is rated one of the top school worldwide. It is every student's dream to be accepted into this prestigious school. Forget about AP History in any average high school. Academy of Hetalia Axis Powers teaches students about every single detail about every country that it would make any historian cry in shame. Our vast amount of knowledge is incredible…"_

Lovina sighed to herself as she left her apartment and started walking to school, reminiscing of the time she tried asking the secretary for a tour of the academy. Surprisingly, the secretary wasn't there by the time she had arrived, instead the headmaster, Mr. Gaias was monitoring the office in the secretary's absence. He was the one who gave her the elaborate speech on why she should attend the school. He was a kind hearted person but for Lovina, his presence made her feel indescribably bitter. In truth, he reminded her of her deceased grandfather.

_Argh calm down me, calm down. _She was approaching the school's elaborate gate sighing at her worries. _The_ school itself appeared too gaudy for Lovina's taste. In her opinion it looked as if the architects were trying too hard to make it so called "international". The whole school was cluttered with sculptures of iconic cities and murals. The school was even divided into different cultural sections! She didn't mind the Italian side of the school though. If Lovina had it her way, she could have redesigned this school and create it into a masterpiece.

_"Sigh, Feliciana would probably upstage me into a laughing stock if she designed this place though." _Lovina thought inwardly, feeling slightly jealous of her sister's artistic talent. Why do I even bother trying to keep my pride up? _"Ugh, dammit, I promised grandfather I wouldn't keep thinking like this" _Quickly snapping herself out of her thoughts, she slowly trudged up the stairs of the school's entrance. _I wonder if I'll ever see Feliciana again…_her thoughts were cut off, as she heard a sound gradually coming closer and closer to her.

"AW MAH GOSH WATCH OUT!" a girl, cried out as she began toppling down the stairs.

"HOLY S*** WHA-

-WHAM-

"Oww..." Lovina cried out as she touched her head. The fall from the top of the staircase hurt like hell and she prayed that she wouldn't have a nasty bruise the next morning. She glared at the girl for a moment, but was caught in shock as she realized that the girl wasn't even a girl. The person who crashed into her began to get up and fix their uniform "My uniform is like such a mess now. I worked so hard just to get ready for school in the morning." Lovina noticed the student's Polish accent had a masculine ring and noticed that it couldn't belong to a girl.

"I am like so sorry, that I totally fell on you. My name is Feliks by the way." The "girl" replied, offering "her" hand to Lovina in an apologetic manner.

"Sh-Shut up, you idiot, what kind of bastard trips and falls on top of a lady anyways? And what the f*** are you wearing? Aren't you a man?" Lovina angrily yelled, but was taken aback by her own words. _Oh no, I didn't mean that. Oh s*** Lovina you're doing it again!_

"Whoa, whoa there betch, it was an accident, accidents happen. And as for my totally adorable outfit, this school has a uniform policy and like, frankly, the girls' uniform is like so much cuter than the boys' uniform and fyi, WHO CARES ABOUT GENDER WHEN IT COMES TO FASHION!"

"Whatever, s-sorry about what I said before…" Lovina commented, her face turning red. She extended her hand to grab hold of Feliks' and quickly brushed off the dust from her uniform.

"Psh, your just jelly that I look so much hotter in the female uniform than you do" Feliks gave a quick shoulder roll and started walking up the stairs again.

"Ugh, you wish…" Lovina slowly replied, smirking to herself "but at least I have natural curves on my body and unlike you, I don't need to wear a corset 24/7 like you obviously need to" placing her hands on her hips as she swiftly followed suit after Feliks.

"OHHH, you did not just go there! I demand that we have a competition to see who looks cuter in our uniforms, right here, right now." Feliks exclaimed looking amused.

"Bring it B****" she couldn't help but stifling a laugh, which shocked her a bit since she couldn't remember the last time she found something amusing.

"PFFT…omg like, you need to come sit with me and my other bff at lunch time. I haven't met a girl who's just as sassy as I am, EVER" Feliks smiled, as both he and Lovina entered the school and began walking down the hallways.

As Lovina and Feliks started to get to know each other she realized they were both the same age and that he has dream of becoming a fashion designer once he graduates from high school. One of the few Polish fashion designers in the world apparently. He kept on complaining that people were undermining his nationality. _He really is a talkative person_, she thought to herself, a little annoying though, but she could handle it. Feliks, on the other hand, felt that the girl looked very familiar. He couldn't put his finger on it though, and brushed off the thought. As they began to check where their homeroom classes were, they hear someone call Feliks' name.

"Feliks!" Lovina and Feliks both turned around at the sound of a tall teen waving his hand and running up to catch up to them.

"Oh my gawsh, Toris, like, where have you been, I was looking for you like everywhere? Until I met little miss bad mouth over here after we totally crashed into each other. Like, literally." Feliks replied who was pointing directly at Lovina, who was scowling at his comment while growing red with embarrassment.

"Oh sorry, I was helping someone ou- wait, you fell down the stairs? HOW? ARE OK?" Toris asked while looking at Feliks frantically.

"Like, calm your horses Toris. Just chill, we're both ok. Like, Toris, I totally need to introduce you to this feisty chick…um…OMG I JUST REALIZED THAT I NEVER FOUND OUT WHAT YOUR NAME WAS!" Feliks cried, who was freaking out that he didn't even bother asking for the girl's name.

Lovina rolled her eyes in exasperation. "My name is Lovina, Lovina Va-"but before she was about to finish her sentence, she was cut off by the sound of the school bell.

-RRRRRING-

_Oh S*** she cursed to herself inwardly. Not only am I going to be late, I ALSO DON'T HAVE ANY F***ING IDEA WHERE MY CLASSROOM IS! F****! F****! _

The hallways were immediately filled with the sounds of students running, papers flying, scuffing of shoes and the sound of the bell being meshed together. Feliks and Toris hastily bolted off together to their class, leaving Lovina alone in the hallway.

"LOVINA, SEE YA AT LUNCH GIRL!" Feliks smiled as he ran, Toris gave her a little wave of goodbye and followed quickly after him, but not before yelling, "Feliks, run slower, your skirt is too short! YOU'RE EXPOSING EVERYTHING!"

-SILENCE-

"Now what do I-"

"Miss Vargas. It seems that you are a bit lost." Lovina turned around and saw Mr. Gaias; the headmaster was standing behind her with an amused look on his face. His reaction at her situation was pissing her off, but she couldn't let herself show it outwardly. _I promised myself…and them…_

"I-I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience. I got rather preoccupied with some of the other students that I seem to have lost track of time…"

"Tell you what, since it's your first day, why don't I personally escort you to your class."

"Th-Thank you very much " _Dear God, please don't let anything terrible happen to me today…_

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For some students, senior year is a once in a life time experience. It's a chance to prepare yourself for your future. For many of those students, it's an exciting time. But for a certain group of friends however…

"Not awesome guys, not awesome at all." The comment was made from an albino teen with a German accent. He was slouching over his school desk and was sitting next to his Spanish and French friends. "Summer ended way too fast and now I'm stuck here in this hell for another year. Mein Gott, worst timing ever. Why can't anything exciting happen in this school?"

"Ohonhonhon, what's wrong Gilbert? Didn't manage to get a girlfriend this year as well? Or are you still hung up over Elizabeta dating Roderich? Hm? Mon ami, don't fret over her. There are still plenty of girls out there." Francis laughed. He found both of his friends' empty love life to be quite an amusement for him. Gilbert was such a hopeless person when it came to love. Whenever he does manage to find a girl who intrigues him, his giant ego manages to get the better of him, which usually leads to not so happy results.

"Oh really Francis, then of all those girls who you suggested to Gilbert, approximately how many did you sleep with already?" Antonio sighed, shaking his head in the process.

"What's with that face? It's not like I slept with all of them…" he smirked at his two friends and flipped his blonde forelocks away from his forehead. "It's not my fault that girls are attracted to me. And Antonio, I'm surprised that you finally managed to understand what I was doing all those times I went on those dates."

The Spaniard gave him a disgusted look. _Mis padres were right. Francis is a bad influence._ Silently, thanking his parents for getting him to be more aware of his friend's schemes…

"Antonio, Antonio…ANTIONIO!" Antonio quickly snapped out of his mind's emptiness and turned around to see Francis giving him perplexed look.

"Ahaha, sorry about that Francis, I was just thinking about some stuff."

"What? Are you having relationship problems too? Did you already start dating that Belgian girl? Did she dump you? Ohonhon, if you were always that clueless on your dates I can see why she dumped you."

"No, Bella and I are just friends. Why do you always assume that whenever Gilbert and I are spending time with girls, you assume there's more than friendship going on?"

"I'm just trying to help my two hopeless friends' love life, excusé moi for attempting the imposs-…"

"BONNEFOY, CARRIEDO, BEILSCHMIDT! Stop bickering and pay attention to class." The three friends immediately stopped. If there was anyone who could stop the Bad Touch Trio, it would be their homeroom teacher. If there was one word that could summarize him, that would be "petrifying". Seriously, the professor could be an offspring of the dreaded Medusa. No one would dare look at him in the eye.

"Alright, before we start class. I would like to introduce you to a new student who has recently transferred here. Although she's only sixteen she'll be joining you third years because of her outstanding grades." As he finished talking, he walked across the room to open the classroom door to let the student in. A girl slowly walked into the classroom, closely following the teacher. She appeared to be from Italian descent and had middle length, dark brown hair and green eyes. She had a round face with an olive toned complexion which surprisingly suited her appearance. Their school uniform complimented her figure perfectly, but her most striking feature was a strange curl which bellowed from the middle of her bangs. Gilbert and Antonio immediately gaped at her as she stood in front of the classroom and Francis was chuckling to himself on how silly they both looked. Francis had to admit it though, she was really cute.

"Everyone, this is the transfer student." The professor turned his head towards her "Transfer student, introduce yourself please."

"M-My name is Lovina Vargas, and I'm a new student here. Thanks…" her face immediately turned red as she hurriedly sat down at her desk the professor had shown her. Antonio and Gilbert were still staring at her. Francis was struggling to keep his laughter down. Not to mention the million comebacks he was thinking in his head.

Hearing Francis' not so quiet laugh since her desk was close to them, Lovina turned her head and winked at Antonio and Gilbert and flashed a playful smile across her face noticing the attention the two boys were giving her.

The two teens looked away in embarrassment. Francis, on the other hand was impressed with the Italian girl's skills.

"Hell yes! Senior Year just got a lot more awesome" Gilbert whispered to his friends.

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_I guess this school isn't so bad after all. _Lovina took out her notebook from her book bag and started taking notes. But her note session took a short stop, since she felt someone tapping her shoulder.

"Um…are you by any chance related to Feliciana Vargas?"

"You know of my sister?"

"Yes, she's a freshman here at this school."


End file.
